Almost an Empress, Forever a Queen
By Lisa Lawrence and Alana Bennett


Tatiana sat on her lounge, holding the roses and a note from her lost love, Nicholas, Emperor of Russia.  Heartbroken, she softly wept as she read his note.

Tatiana, my first love.
You must know how it grieves me to bid you this final farewell.
While history will recall this day, my wedding day, to Alexandra, as a
moment of great joy, you and I alone
will know the truth that remains in our hearts.

As the ruler of Russia, my allegiance to the Russian Orthodox Church
must remain unblemished.  Similarly, I applaud your own decision
to remain faithful to the Lutheran Church. 
Let it bring comfort to us that only our faith in God
was strong enough to ultimately keep us apart.

Marrying your cousin Alexandra, after her own decision to convert
to Russian Orthodoxy, will bring much needed consistency to
Mother Russia.  I pray that the one quarter blood you share
with your cousin will allow me to eventually
transfer to her at least a small amount of my passion for you.

I appreciate your decision to remain in exile in London. 
Knowing you are not nearby will help me to remain faithful, as I must be,
to your cousin.  While we will never be able to speak again,
you can be sure that my love for you remains as steadfast as ever. 
In the future, you will hear of news that will confirm this. 
It will be my final tribute to our love.  
Nicholas II

While many of Europe's royal families were in Russia, attending the wedding of Nicholas and Alexandra, Tatiana was required to attend a celebratory reception with the lesser royals who gathered in London.  Duty bound to attend, she put on the gown she had been wearing when she first met Nicholas.  She wore the crown he had sent to her just days earlier, declaring her to be "Queen of His Heart."


News of the Russian Royal wedding continued to circulate throughout the continent for months, eventually carrying with it the rumors of Alexandra's first "confinement."  As the world awaited a royal heir to the Russian throne, Tatiana escaped to a tiny seaside resort in the South of France.  Away from the news, she slowly began to heal. 

Through the years, Tatiana's love for Nicholas remained strong but her faith in God allowed her to live a peaceful, happy life.  Nicholas and Alexandra created a strong family unit and were dedicated to one another.  Three years after their marriage, Tatiana heard news which confirmed to her that she was not forgotten.  The royal couple named their second daughter "Tatiana."  Nicholas kept his promise to make a final tribute to his first love.  She knew he would.


Over the years, Tatiana grew into a refined, giving woman.  She re-directed the energy of her lost love into creating numerous charities and working tirelessly for the sick and homeless.   While her love for Nicholas never faded, it did grow into a deeper, more mature love that also encompassed Alexandra and their 5 children.  She prayed for the health and happiness of the royal family even while news of Russian unrest continued to escalate.  Twenty two years after their romance ended, Tatiana was crushed to hear that the entire Romanov Dynasty has come to a tragic end.  Nicholas and his family had been executed.  Tatiana lived the remainder of her life strengthened by her faith, continuing her numerous charities  and comforted by her little dog, "Nicky."

You are visitor number